You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

My little rant, a portion of which that was criticized by my date who (I swear I'm not making this up) insisted that I apologize for to the Woman with an MS in women's studies who he introduced me to when I voiced it (I was 19). The irony flew right over his head, and I totally dodged a bullet I didn't even see.

Once upon a time, back in my mother’s day, women dealt with irritable men who came home demanding dinner and complaining about every little nitpicking thing the kids they didn’t pick up after anyway left out about the house that might let on that there were children actually living there. After cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and sweet-talking the wolf away from the door for one more wretched day; getting pooped on, peed on, puked on, spilled on, and screwed over:
Enter Prince charmless, late, drunk, impossible to please, and horny!
What an attractive sight. What woman, after the day she typically had, faced with such an enticing specimen, would not want to slip into something sexy and be all she could be for the three-toed sloth who couldn’t stop popping the tabs off his beers long enough to take a shower?
Didn’t these women know that without marital sex their gem might actually clean up his act long enough to entrap some sweet young thing who would look at him with the fresh, naked adoration only possible from one who had not yet been touched by drudgery, disillusion, or want, and hadn’t the first clue what a ranting meathead he could be?
The women of my generation have all of that, plus the responsibility to rake in a substantial portion of the household income by means of a mind-numbing, body breaking, soul-sucking job, just so long as she gets her chores done first.
It has become financially unfeasible and socially unacceptable for today’s woman not to bring home a paycheck, and most are still solely responsible for every damned thing we were solely responsible for since the beginning of time.
But how, with the revolution and all, did women get stuck with double shifts and only one paycheck? While it is understandable that women needed life choices beyond those of wife, dressmaker, waitress, or hooker, I’m almost sure the result for most was not what was intended. Not all or even most women who enter the workforce can expect to be business executives. Neither, by the way, can all, or even most of their husbands.
Yes, the women of my generation really do have it all. In fact, many have had it all for so long that we are not far from that not too distant past when a woman’s average life expectancy was mid-thirties to late forties because stress kills, and secondhand stress, like secondhand smoke, is twice as deadly to women.
There is almost no benefit for women in being married anymore. Married men live longer than single men. Single women live longer than married women. From a woman’s perspective, marriage seems counterintuitive. Is it unreasonable to suggest that some men just aren't equal to the investment of time, effort, and money anymore? Sure, they have their biological charms, but it really isn’t necessary for women to compete for their lifelong care and feeding to enjoy them.
Why is it that when men didn't want to "buy the cow," it was considered a truism, but when women discover that they don't want to take any bull (for a little bit of pork) while working double shifts (one unpaid) and paying half or more than half of the household bills, it's the end of Western civilization?
I’ll feel the revolution brought true liberation to my daughter’s generation when I see the following advice in a popular men’s magazine:
Advice to Men on how to keep your meal tickets happy:
Maybe if you prettied yourselves up at the end of the day, made yourselves more attractive, cleaned up the house, made us some dinner, and met us at the door with a drink, a smile, and a sympathetic ear at the end of OUR long workday, you could keep more of your wimmins interested in hauling most of your freight.